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I NEED CRITIQUE by Legato895 I NEED CRITIQUE by Legato895
this is just a wip, but its close. really im putting this up for critique. i need to know what to change, what to alter and what to fix.

***note that leveling is not final***

currently i think the biggest problem i have is the wounded soldier in the foreground doesn't stand out enough and gets lost, but my eyes are so jaded i really need to be told where im 'wrong'

more details when the final picture is released.

this is certainly a late stage work in progress, if anybody favorites this i will hate you forever. expect the final version to be put out in a few days (depending on how much critique i get).
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:iconffjunky:
FFjunky Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2007
Not so much a critique as a suggestion but... The monstrous arm protruding from the gate is an awesome concept. I almost overlooked it at first, maybe help it pop a tad bit more.

Hard to critique good stuff like this..
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:iconlegato895:
Legato895 Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
thanks for the delayed response ;)
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:iconffjunky:
FFjunky Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2007
Yeah well, I do what I can... In case you forgot it's Brandon, er... the guy from highschool.
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:iconlegato895:
Legato895 Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
aye, i did forget ;_;
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:iconffjunky:
FFjunky Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2007
Sigh*, you fill my heart with sorrow... Go play in traffic
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:iconzoomzoom:
zoomzoom Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
not my place to critique something like that... 2D is not my skill u know.. i like overall work flow. its sharp enough to see the details.. i guess inking can help...
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:iconlt-action:
Lt-Action Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007
Aha, you shortened the hilt on that sword. Good boy ;) Far more balanced that way.

I actually thought this was finished until you started whining all over the place.

On that note, shut yer hatch, listen to the comments other people have already given to you and tell me what pencils you used to carry out your shading business.

You will have to re-open your hatch to perform the third task I gave you. This is perfectly acceptable.
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:iconlegato895:
Legato895 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
lmao i would, but reid started v for vendetta so i won't have nearly the amount of time needed to state to you the tools i used to create the picture your optic nerves - via rods and cones - are picking up and sending to your occipital lobe in order for processing.

yeah, .5mm mechanical pencil and 6b
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:iconcaptivx:
captivx Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007
The rendering's nice, and you have a good composition going, there are just a few things that could be better:

Since you have a lightsource coming, it's extreme top right, the figures in the back don't really reflect it too well, they could also be darker or lighter the farther back the background space goes. Your goal is trying to pop out the foreground figures since they are the focus.

The flying wood that looms above the scene looks a bit too unconvincing and floaty, I'd suggest placing it closer to the giant's hand that's tearing through the gate, it would make the scene a bit more destructive.

The most glaring thing I can see is the front, the dominant soldier's hand on the sword, it looks broken in relation to the arm itself, it wouldn't be able to go in that position. The hands in general look a bit weaker on the front most figures in comparison to the detailed bodies.
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:iconlegato895:
Legato895 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
\o/

THANK YOU!

i'll see what i can do!
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:iconbumbillbee:
Bumbillbee Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007
I think that the thighs could be a little thinner but not too thin and also mabey some more texture so the wall looks uhh a little wall-lyer and the amour a bit shinier so it looks like metal, but other wise I really like this its awasome
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:iconlegato895:
Legato895 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
thank you much! the thighs are a bit locked in, but than again, i was going for a super muscular badass from long ago look. the walls i was wanting to blur a bit to bring the focus forward, but i'll see what i can do, and most of the armor is a leather type material, but i will brighten up the metal bits!
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:icongrimma:
Grimma Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007
whoa. cool.
you could just up the highlights on the fallen fella in the foreground... and the one experiencing a stabbing in the back there looks like a startled goldfish, spoils the drama slightly :P
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:iconlegato895:
Legato895 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
LOL!!! its his helmet!!!! i'll try altering it a bit tho!
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:icondukeleto:
dukeleto Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
awesome work, amazing pencils. Since you ask, I have a couple of questions. The padded leggings of the swordsman in the foreground go a little odd around his groin. Personally I'd fudge it by deepening the shadows. Also the swordsman in the back who's just taken one in the throat has an oddly shaped shield. Ones like that existed, but the hook is usually in the inside egde, so a weapon can be used through it.
Minor details tho, again, awesome pic!
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:iconlegato895:
Legato895 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
yeah, i'll see if i can perform emergency surgery on his groin! poor fella :(

as for the shield, i didn't have any reference for them, i was creating them to be unique, i was using the hook as maybe a way to lock weapon with somebody, or to use as a claw:D
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:icondestriarch:
Destriarch Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007
My only real criticism is that some of the objects in motion, particularly the flying debris from the arm punching through the wall on the right hand side of the picture, looks a bit static and clean, like it's hovering in mid-air. Could you maybe make it feel a bit more dynamic? I don't know how, I'm no great artist. Don't think motion blur would look right, but maybe you could have the flying debris trail a small amount of dirt behind it to show it's been wrenched from the wall?

Really though this is just nitpicking. It's an excellent picture as always.

Ash
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:iconlegato895:
Legato895 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
thank you, i'll keep that in mind!
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:icondestriarch:
Destriarch Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2007
No probs, always good to see more of your art.

Ash
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:iconboznic:
boznic Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007
Wow! *squints* Super wow! I can't wait for the end result!
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:iconlegato895:
Legato895 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
ewww!
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:icontdbk:
TDBK Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It looks cooooool so far. :wow:
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:iconmackotek:
MacKotek Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007
I'd read something about armor, if i were you. It's horrible. It would kill the soldier sooner, than the enemy...
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:iconlegato895:
Legato895 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
ok... um... maybe the giant's hand tearing through steel wasn't a big enough clue for you, but this isn't real!

*gasp*

so maybe have fun with this picture eh?
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:iconmackotek:
MacKotek Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2007
You wrote "I need critique". So maybye it's beacause of that.
What do you mean, by "isn't real"? If it were real, would it be posible for those armor suits to be efficient? Of course not. I'm just noticing, that, althrough they look good, they are completly unusable. You wouldn't be even able to wear them, and even if you'd force them, they'd hurt the user more, than protect him.
A few more constructive hints:
-Helmets: Too small visiures(those holes you look through), too many ornaments and pieces patched only to look better. They'd be heavy, unconfortable and almost blinding the user.
-Armor: The standing character has a really strange breastplate. It would be really tough both to put on and have worn. Another thing is, that it's constructhion would make it really fragile - one hit would reach the warriors chest. The warrior fallen seems to have a nice suit of scale mail on, but that semi-breastplate and arms... Argh. They'd make him suffer.

Anyway' i'd stickto classical armor, and try to have those two main characters without helmets (losing your helmet in the heat of battle is not rare). That'd make a better scene. Their emotions should be shown - faces, one in rage, the other in fear...
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:iconlegato895:
Legato895 Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
man, if i had any desire to make these guys wear something real, or normal, i would. if you wanna get your pants all in a bunch over armor that doesn't conform to reality i advise you take your knowledge to the myriad of other offenders on deviant art. honestly i was asking for compositional critique, not conceptual critique.
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:iconmackotek:
MacKotek Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2007
Well, if you don't need that kind of critique, point it. Have you ever tried to wear armor? I had. That's why i wrote, what i wrote.
Over and out.
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:iconarvalis:
arvalis Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007
One of my concerns is that most of the soldiers' thighs are either to fat or to short. Also the reason the wounded soldier in the foreground seems to get lost is because the fight in the background is to distracting. Try removing it and see how it looks. There also appears to be a giant arm holding the portcullis up, i think his hand and wrist are a little misshapen. The soldier in the foreground's sword seems a little to simple looking in relation to his armor. Try addind a more ornate sword or dagger. That same soldier's helm looks kinda odd, try adding some plumage or perhaps horn like protrusions. His helm just looks kinda lame. You might wanna add cheering soldiers or something on the castle wall, just a thought. I hope this helps.
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:iconlegato895:
Legato895 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
at first i thought your suggestion to remove the speared soldier in the back was crazy, but im holding more merit to the comment. it will take some thought tho, as i am quite fond of him :D

as for embellishments on the sword, and the helmet, thats your opinion and your entitled to them, but i won't be adding any plumage or anything (lo siento) and any soldiers on the wall wouldn't e cheering, they would be fighting for their lives :D
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:iconarvalis:
arvalis Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007
Im not saying its a necessity that you remove the speared soildier, simply test it out. Often times i will get a critique to change something in a picture that i really like, but once ive changed it i find they were right. Just give it shot you might thank me someday :)
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:iconlegato895:
Legato895 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
after consulting my life drawing teacher/master artist, i have determined that i won't be removing the spear guy, simply because of how hard it would be at such a late stage in the valuing game. i will however mute them a bit, but seriously, thank you for the idea!
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:iconarvalis:
arvalis Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2007
Your welcome, i will critique whatever you ask me to.
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:icondigi-mech:
digi-mech Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007
Its a great sketch as it is. my eye is drawn to the arm on the right, it looks like its coming out from under the gate?. if this is the case then is the arm belonging to a giant? if not the perspective seems wrong.

as for the wounded guy, the only way to bring him more into the image is to move him up slightly, maybe by adding more to the bottom of the image. however I suspect that you can also do this with colour if your careful.

personally I like it alot, and look forward to seeing the finsl peice, which I might fav if you dont hate me forever ;)

steve
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:iconlegato895:
Legato895 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
yes, it is a giant's arm/hand

im already filling up the boarders of the picture and no, this will stay black and white

but thank you
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:iconivorydrive:
IvoryDrive Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2007  Professional General Artist
you never cease to amaze.
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:iconlegato895:
Legato895 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
i may never cease to amaze you, but you never started to offer me advice!!!!

KNAVE
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:iconbartbar:
BartBar Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2007
I think the wounded soldier in the forground isn't too hard to see but it might help to make some of the debris and things just behind him/her a bit darker. Not a lot though.

The highlights in the lower right hand corner distract a little bit from the wounded soldier's helmet because they are so close to each other.

Great job over all. Amazing detail.
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:iconlegato895:
Legato895 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
thank you for the ideas and help!
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:iconbartbar:
BartBar Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2007
No problem. ;)
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:iconteemunkle:
teemunkle Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2007   Digital Artist
lol,i saw that...somebody faved and then removed it:lmao:
i dont think your going `wrong`anywhere at all but if i had to nit pick i think the fallen soldier in the background right handside with the arrows in his back would look a little better with more to distinguish him from the rubble..
looks great,i cant wait until the fave terms and conditions are met:)
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:iconlegato895:
Legato895 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
thanks a ton!
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:iconangered-icon:
Angered-Icon Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
lol well I can't comment too much cause I think it looks awesome but I will say that the dude in the forground looks like a Medieval version of Master Cheif from halo lol.
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:iconlegato895:
Legato895 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
lol, i'll roll with that!

but is it just the dramatic pose? or the armor...?
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:iconangered-icon:
Angered-Icon Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's kinda both. that "I'm dominating you!" pose with the chest more to screen to show the cool halo armor. the what really sets it off is the helmet, that visor in the front starts it. =D
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:icondarknessgiveslife:
DarknessGivesLife Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2007
well i think the guy getting killed on the wall there, the problem is that his blood is the same color as the wall. and the guy killing him with the spear, well i can't really see the detail on his armor.
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:iconlegato895:
Legato895 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
i know, i was wanting things to start losing detail as they got farther away (as they should) i'll see what i can do tho!
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:icondarknessgiveslife:
DarknessGivesLife Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2007
so you don't hate me anymore?
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:iconlegato895:
Legato895 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
:D

correct, you are un-hated!
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:icondarknessgiveslife:
DarknessGivesLife Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2007
nnniiicccee.
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